ONE QUESTION

Are you addicted to the story you have created about yourself? I.e. tired, anxious, etc.

ONE THING TO PONDER

Disconnection is a disease, just because you’re around others doesn’t mean you’re connecting.

ONE PERSPECTIVE

People pleasing is not noble, it’s typically a self serving and/or protection mechanism. 

Before we dive in here, understand that you aren’t for everyone. That is the way it’s supposed to be. 

This edition isn’t an attack on people pleasers, it is an empowerment tool for us to make different decisions. 

People pleasing is a very lonely place to live. 

The more we focus on simply pleasing others, the more lost we’ll find ourselves. We start to confuse what we like with how we are trying to keep peace with others. 

The Anatomy of a People Pleaser

Conflict avoidance: We fold rather than stand up.

Self-sacrifice: We let ourselves down before disappointing others.

Strategic kindness: We build up favors with the intent to cash in later (this isn't kindness, it's manipulation).

Dishonesty: (This one stings) You lie—to others and yourself

Some of us may not like that statement, I didn’t at first either.

People will ask if we want to go to a party….we would rather not go but we say yes. At that moment we just lied. It’s small, yet compound that by 100 and see what you feel. 

We’ll give answers to fit in or ‘go with the flow’ when in truth, we actually don’t agree or don’t want to. Each time we do that, we chip away at our self worth and authenticity. 

Eventually, your ‘yes’ can’t be trusted. But when you use your ‘no’ with alignment, your ‘yes’ holds that much more truth. 

In the same breath, I believe it’s important to note that there is a difference between generosity and pleasing people. 

Generosity springs from genuine desire to give. 

People pleasing springs from fear of rejection, conflict, or disapproval.

To keep things in perspective, not being a people pleaser isn’t about being an a**. It's about being honest with ourselves and others. 

People pleasing all the time typically makes people resentful, passive aggressive, and angry over time. When you constantly put others ahead of you, your needs, and your self care, it’s nearly impossible to not hold resentment. 

What to Expect When you Change

Setting boundaries and being honest will be uncomfortable. Some relationships may falter. 

It’s important to note that there may be a transition period that feels lonely.

People love you, but sometimes they simply don't know how. Your honest boundaries actually give them a map to love you properly.

And from personal experience, I can tell you—you'll be surprised by how people ultimately respond to your self-respect.

The journey to authenticity isn't easy, but it's infinitely more fulfilling than the hollow comfort of being liked by everyone.

Your turn to be honest: Where in your life are you choosing pleasing over truth?

I’ll see you along the way!

Onward and Upward

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