"Winning" While Dying Inside

Jake Luehrs
July 26, 2025

ONE QUESTION

Is anxiety simply a fear addiction?

ONE THING TO PONDER

The best way to get what you want…..Go earn and deserve what you want.

ONE PERSPECTIVE

Wanting is tiresome. Once we get what we want, we celebrate for .2 seconds and then move on to the next thing we want. It’s exhausting.

Picture this: You're standing at a well with a bucket full of holes, desperately trying to fill it with water…i.e More money. More recognition. More followers. More, more, more.

But no matter how much you pour in, it never fills up.

We tell ourselves we're "building empires" when really we're just trying to prove we're worthy of love and respect (cue eyeroll from most high achievers, I’ve been there too). We measure our worth in:

Net worth - I know many miserable millionaires.
Job titles - I can see some people’s health fading because of a job they hold that’s not for them.
Social media metrics - it’s exhausting living a highlight reel, missing present moments for the gram.

That's what chasing validation looks like. And if you're honest with yourself, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Satisfaction ≠ Getting more of what you want

Satisfaction = Wanting less + Appreciating what you have + Pursuing what truly matters

I'm not here to tell you to lower your standards or embrace mediocrity.

The entrepreneurs who seem most fulfilled? They work harder than anyone else yet are slowly dying inside while doing it.

The difference? They're on THEIR path for THEIR reasons.

The pursuit of validation through external success is an endless and detrimental pursuit.

This type of pursuit is predicated on fear and insecurity.

Before you dismiss this as "lazy mindset" or "participation trophy thinking," hear me out.

When you're on YOUR path for YOUR reasons, you work harder than ever.

While it takes a lot of effort, a lot of courage and a lot of sacrifice to win professionally, it's lazy and lacks any depth while only in the pursuit of external things.

Suggesting that we shouldn't work hard, get out of balance at times, or sacrifice things while on that meaningful pursuit is not what I'm saying.

It's actually the opposite. When we find our path, our vision, our mission on why we are here, we tend to work harder, obsess over it, and pursue it with everything we have. And I love that.

We're not here to sit on a beach all day. We are here to serve the greater good. We just have to find our way of doing that.

Many of us in the entrepreneurial world are just sophisticated addicts. I was for quite some time. Our drug? External validation dressed up as "success."

What if instead of asking "How can I get more?", you asked:

"What actually matters to me?"

"What would I pursue if nobody was watching?"

"What legacy do I want to leave?"

Answering those questions well will allow you to not only find meaning in your pursuit, you’ll likely experience more personal and professional success than you could ever imagine.

You do you, for you!

Onward and upward!

LEAD & LEARN : WEEKLY PICK

PODCAST

How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice

THE TIM FERRISS SHOW

The easiest thing to do is just go along and not ruffle feathers, not set boundaries for yourself, and just keep doing. While in the short term, that may work, yet it has multiple downfalls. You’ve got to understand yourself first, also care about your health and sanity over the approval of others. This is well worth the listen and something we all have the ability to improve upon.

BOOK RECOMMENDATION

Quiet Leadership
by David Rock

Too often leadership is looked at and perceived as a title. Yet the best leaders care very little about titles. You can tell by the way they show up, how they listen, the way they speak. It’s more of how they show up and see value in people just as much as getting things done. And the best way to get things done is to develop great relationships with talented people with a common goal. This is worth a read!