ONE QUESTION

Are your personal and professional goals defined by other people’s expectations?

ONE THING TO PONDER

We only can use pain and challenges as a benefit to our lives if we overcome them. If we choose not to overcome them, we don’t get the benefit.

ONE PERSPECTIVE

A passionate rant - We aren’t taking a stand for ourselves. 

Let me start with this - We are all leaders, ‘title’ or no title. 

If we’re not exercising our leadership, I’m afraid we’re squandering the opportunity to make a positive impact on people’s lives - our children’s, our family’s, our community’s, in our business, and at the grocery store. 

Let me be crystal clear: SELF-LEADERSHIP is the non-negotiable foundation for living a life aligned with your deepest values, both personally and professionally.

We talk endlessly about leadership's importance. But here's what's shifted: 

In this era of technology, AI, and digital communication, we've developed a sixth sense for detecting inauthenticity. We can spot it a mile away in others.

Yet the hardest question remains: 

Am I being truly authentic, or am I selling an image that isn't really me? OR

Am I presenting myself in a way hoping to gain something by showing up as a different version of myself?

If you can’t be fully yourself around someone, you’re either performing or constantly negotiating what to share, who to be, and what to do. That’s exhausting.

I had a deep and meaningful conversation this week with someone that has achieved significant success, both financially as well as a leader. And unfortunately, it’s become more common lately as I’ve started to share my challenges from the past 8 months. 

There has been a theme in recent conversations with externally "successful" people who've revealed three startling commonalities:

1. They care so deeply for others that they’ve sacrificed their own well-being to breaking points.

2. They’re bone-tired not from work, but from isolation of never letting their guard down.
3. They havent truly unplugged in years.

The most compassionate leaders often struggle with boundaries. They don’t say no. They don’t set expectations. They slowly suffocate under the weight of their own giving.

This isn’t everyone, because I know people that have been able to master both. For those leaders, I have nothing to offer you. 

Yet for those in the first category, it’s time to step up and stand up for yourself. 

I will never stop giving my best to others, to encourage and support others, and to challenge others in a way that allows them to step into their full potential. 

However, for the takers, I simply don’t have space in my world for you anymore. And I encourage everyone reading this to do the same. 

The truth is that the people I’ve poured into the most, the ones that have kept me up at night trying to help them, worrying about them, etc….those are also the first ones that at the moment I said no or set a boundary, those are the ones that bail. 

I hold no ill will towards them (maybe a little if I’m being honest, but I’m working on that).

After driving myself into darkness and hurting those closest to me, I've realized that some relationships exist only in the absence of boundaries. 

That's not friendship. That's not business. That's fear.

The idea of ‘losing business’ or ‘losing friendships’ is more about perspective. Are we in business or with friends because it’s actually a strong relationship, or is it more out of fear of losing them. Those are very different relationships. 

The pursuit of more — whether it’s more money, bigger achievements, better reputation — while sacrificing authenticity is simply filling an insecurity void.

We are here to serve each other. But we must first lead ourselves well enough to show up whole.

Because when our final moments arrive, what will matter is whether we gave our authentic best—for ourselves AND others.

Self-leadership isn't selfish. 

It's the most selfless thing you'll ever do, and likely the most impactful from what you leave in people. 

Onward and Upward! 

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