"Loving” Everyone, Knowing No One

Jake Luehrs
January 10, 2026

ONE QUESTION

If your life was a movie, what would the audience be yelling at the screen for you to do?

ONE THING TO PONDER

The life you’re living is too small for the person you’re becoming.

ONE PERSPECTIVE

People closest to us are dying for support, yet we struggle to notice because we were typing "thoughts and prayers" to someone we haven't spoken to in seven years….maybe 6 (see what I did there?)

Showing shallow care to hundreds of people is actually stealing our time from those we do care about.

We seem to be striving towards popularity over genuine connection.

We share our heartbreak about tragedies across the globe.

We perform our compassion in public settings.

And the person three feet from us is falling apart, and we miss it completely.

Here's the truth we don't want to face - our depth of concern has become an ocean....a mile wide and an inch deep.

We've confused reach with connection.

Visibility with presence.

‘Performing’ goodness with being good.

What concerns me is not the way things are, but rather the way we THINK things are.

Sitting in silence with someone while they heal is worth more than a thousand comments ever could, and I’m speaking from experience.

I don’t believe that technology has expanded deep connections, I simply believe that it’s expanded our reach and confused them with real relationships.

Our Presence and Care Have Limitations

Our ability to be present has its limitations…and that very limitation is also what makes our presence sacred to those we share it with.

Humanity was built for small communities, to care for a smaller number of people closest to us.

DUNBAR’S THEORY

This theory suggests humans have a natural cognitive limit to how many meaningful relationships we can maintain.

The core idea: ~150 people
That’s the average number of stable social relationships our brains can handle.

Within that, relationships fall into layers:

- 5 Inner Circle: closest bonds (partner, best friends)
- 15 Close Friends: people you confide in
- 50 Good Friends: regular social contact
- 150 Meaningful Relationships: you know who they are, how you relate

So why does this even matter?

- Depth requires time + emotional energy
- Adding new close relationships often means others naturally loosen
- Feeling stretched socially isn’t failure... it’s BIOLOGY

The Path Forward

Our impact and legacy lie at the feet of acts of service… .this will be for a smaller number of people vs words that land flat and leave people isolated and disconnected.

Go pour into those you cherish, not just through a screen, but sit next to them, listen to them, that is all we need. We all win in that scenario.

Our legacy won't be measured by how many people saw our post.

It will be measured by who felt less alone because we sat next them.

Onward and upward!

LEAD & LEARN : WEEKLY PICK

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