ONE QUESTION

Who would you be if you let go of your resentment towards others?

ONE THING TO PONDER

Confusion is the earliest form of clarity. It’s not the problem, it’s the very beginning of the solution.

ONE PERSPECTIVE

Think about the meanest person you’ve ever met….what was it about them that makes you think of them?

Now sit with this for a second, because what I'm about to say might not land well at first.

The more I travel and train across the country on self leadership, the more it’s become apparent that for many of us, the meanest person we’ve ever met isn’t someone else…it’s ourselves. 

Some of the most outwardly "successful" people I've met are also the most brutal toward themselves. 

Driven not by purpose, but by a quiet, relentless whisper that says you're not enough yet. 

They are driven by an insecurity of not being enough, so they whip themselves into a frenzy to create external success to validate their self worth… Maybe that’s just me?

I think it's important to have drive, and I think it’s equally important to understand what is behind that drive. 

The truth as I see it, I can’t be completely mad at my insecurities. Those very insecurities have pulled great things out of me at times.

I simply wonder, could I have accomplished the same things without the terrible self-talk? Without the constant 'not enough' chatter eating away at my soul?

I still don't have a clear answer. But I think the question matters more than most of us are willing to admit. 

We want change, but not if it costs us our status. 

We want peace, but not if it means slowing down. 

We want to be truly known, but only if what people see is impressive.

That is an exhausting way to live. And I say that with compassion, not judgment… because I know exactly how exhausting it is.

Here's the part that scares me most…

Somewhere along the way, many of us decided that self-punishment is the price of ambition. 

That if we go easy on ourselves, we'll lose our drive. That cruelty is the engine. 

When we set down the facade of being impressive, we can actually find the real fuel that can motivate us the rest of our lives without the side dish of self punishment. 

But it takes courage, it takes honesty. And if we’re not willing to emulate either of those traits, then carry on…I have nothing for you. 

The Path Forward 

Are you more interested in being impressive or impactful?

Are you more committed to being liked than respected?

Are you more interested in being right than effective?

Our answers will tell us a lot about what's actually driving us. And there's a real chance that what we've been calling "drive" is just fear in a nice outfit. 

Only one person will truly know this answer…it's you. 

And you can spend the rest of your life knowing the answer, but choosing to seek validation over alignment, and I can assure you that regret will welcome you at the end of the ride. 

Rather than meeting regret at the end, what if we were met with the peace knowing we had the courage to live our lives true to ourselves, rather than predicated on how others saw us…that is the path forward! 

Onward and upward!

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