ONE QUESTION

Who could you be in the absence of your worries?

ONE THING TO PONDER

Most people say they want growth, but what they are really seeking is relief. Those are two very different things.

ONE PERSPECTIVE

One of the loneliest moments of my life happened in a room of thousands of people.

I believe in self leadership, that is the whole purpose of these newsletters. This week's edition is simply to recognize our humanness. 

I believe in working hard. 

I believe in building resilience. In being strong for others. 

I believe in living a big life, knowing hard times will be part of it!

And I also believe in not operating as if we’re machines.  

Ok…back to the loneliness in the room of thousands.

Laughter everywhere. People hugging old friends they haven't seen in years. The buzz of a room full of connection.

And in the middle of it, feeling completely alone.

Around people you enjoy, that you care about, that are happy and hugging each other, and yet feeling like you’re the only one in the whole auditorium.

How can that be?

The pain that day was real. I remember the very feelings of trying to hold it together…the tightness in my throat, the sting behind my eyes, my nose starting to run, and every ounce of energy going into one job…don't let anyone see this.

What I’ve learned the hard way…the more intense the feeling, the more alone it convinces us that we are.

I believe that is the trick that grief plays on each one of us.

And before we try to push grief away, let’s remember it’s simply a receipt of having loved something or someone.

We should have grief in our lives. Just because it hurts doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

It doesn't ask permission. It doesn't check our calendar. It doesn't care that we believe we’ve already done the work.

You can move through a hard season, feel like you've finally leveled out and then out of nowhere, it grabs you by the throat in a room full of strangers who are celebrating something completely unrelated to your pain.

We don't control the timing of it. 

We don’t get control of how intense it can feel at the moment.  

It doesn’t follow a timeline or have a deadline.

I don’t have data to back it up, yet I believe it to be true…if you've ever felt that specific, visceral kind of alone while everyone around you is smiling…you are not the only one who has felt that. Not even close. 

Heightened emotions don't just make us feel things. 

They make us believe things... Stories that aren't true, but feel like truths in the moment. 

Here’s the hard part. Knowing that doesn't make the moment hurt less. It didn't for me that day, and it might not for you either. 

But it does mean something important, if you've ever been in a full room and felt completely empty…that wasn't proof something was wrong with you.

That's just what being human looks like when pain shows up uninvited.

Accept the challenges for what they are. Understand they won’t last forever.

I’ll see you along the way. 

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